Mentally I thought I was doing fine, but my body was not having conversations with my mind so my fear manifested itself in the form of a very large stress rash over 1/3 of my body requiring large doses of prednisone. Prednisone makes you jumpy, racy (not in a sexy way), anxious and manic. Oh, and you gain 2 lbs a day. No joke. Since I have to be on it for 10 days, I have 20 lbs to look forward to.
Anyway, I have to remind myself that I am on it and need to "find a happy place" now and then to calm down so I don't freak out my children.
After a weird exchange with my son this morning about cereal, I started going a bit berserk and my husband noticed it. He's a good diffuser of tense situations. I felt bad even though the exchange was minor and really not worth noticing, but "I'm on medication" so I feel things differently right now. The real prize, though, is that I have an awesome husband who really does love me and is probably the number one reason I stay sane.
I was feeling ashamed of myself and really needy. I know he went through the same thing I did, but he was having to take care of me. When he got to work I sent him a sheepish email saying thanks and that I was sorry he got saddled with such a nut case wife. "You're not a nutcase", he wrote back. "You're the love of my life and a damn find find". Enough said.
He gets my hero award ......again.