I'm not usually an envious person but lately I've been feeling a bit lacking. When Adrian and I frst started out on this adventure I was amazed and awed by the people. They were all so intelligent and motivated. Some spoke several languages while others ran companies, graduated from Harvard, served in the military, you get the picture. For the first time ever I thought that perhaps there was someone smarter than my husband :)
Now that we've been in it for a a bit, I have gotten to know some of the spouses as well. I can usually slide right into a community, make awesome friends and contribute to meaningful conversations. Now I find myself doing more listening. Yes, I am scared. I'm afraid that if I open my mouth they will know that I only have a Bachelor's degree in (gasp) communications. So, I sit quietly and listen to the stories of these insanely young spouses who have been doctors, lawyers, opera singers and, oh yeah, speak several languages.
They don't seem particularly impressed by my 10 year old's soccer career or the fact that my 13 year old got straight A's AGAIN! Yawn....their kids have been doing that their entire lives. So, I am going to step up my game and whip us all into State Department worthy shape.
Time to brush off the Rosetta Stone, I'm learning Spanish but perhaps I should perfect English first.
Good for you for learning Spanish! We can keep growing, learning and reinventing ourselves even if we are just "spouses" or "moms" and don't have "real jobs."
ReplyDeleteYeah, there are overachievers in the FS but that's OK.
Achievement means different things to different people. For some family comes first, for others it's their career. Then there those that need to balance the two (easier said than done).
I happen to think that raising two beautiful, well-adjusted boys and having a happy marriage are terrific achievements. Some people spend their whole lives trying to get something like that and never succeed.
It all depends on your priorities. Besides, who knows what some of the overachievers you are referring to had to give up to get to where they are.
Don't second-guess yourself. We like you just the way you are.
Psh. If those are the types of people you're around, they can probably learn from them, IF they are so very different from you. Don't short-sell yourself!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I have felt the exact same way. Don't be too hard on yourself. Really. Guess what? Confessions: I didn't graduate College. Nope. Not a college graduate. And I don't speak another language fluently, and I can't cook, and my kids are crazy. There are many things I fall short. Really, really short. So now you know.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Don't tell anyone else. I am pretty sure I will have to go into hiding if I am discovered as an underachiever.
ReplyDeleteAh. I'm with you. I feel like everyone gives me a funny look because 1. I'm from Iowa 2. I'm pregnant with a baby in tow and 3. I don't really enjoy talking about all that much other than my kid and my dog.
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe 4. I only like to watch reality TV - not so very high-brow.
Oh, I think you are wonderful as you are! If you are interested in languages by the way, I now speak french pretty darn well thanks to buying downloads from the pimsleurmethod.com (not that expensive and you can buy 5 lessons at a time if you like). I find that pimsleur worked amazingly for me, even at the age of (gasp!) 46 years old. I also did a bit of modern Greek. Up until recently I'd struggled with languages, I've taken classes which worked on the 'in one ear out the other' basis. Next I am planning to conquer Russian, just for fun! My daughter (aged 17) is also a language fanatic, but sadly our lifestyle does not mark us out as high achievers, although I have just decided we are high fun achievers.
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